It is a very long way from Puyallup, WA to Orlando, FL. Further yet, is the gap between those who have previously attended the Performance Racing Industry show, and those who have not. I'm still in the have not category, but we were provided the opportunity of a lifetime to have our son attend the show this year. I wasn't sure he was ready to tackle the world of business just yet, as he still doesn't even own a razor.
Nevertheless, accompanied by a trusted friend, he boarded a flight for Florida, armed with advice and a plan, to go there and see what he could learn. He had specific instructions not to try and secure any deals, but rather to develop his skills in communicating and decision making. He was to listen when spoken to, ask questions if needed, answer questions when asked of him, and walk away from every situation leaving only one impression - that of a happy, smiling person. The first and the last part would be easy. TJ has never had a problem listening, or smiling. Those two traits come very natural for him. Initiating a conversation is a different story. He prefers to take a more subtle approach to communicating - and that has worked well for him thus far. But eventually his giggles followed by his smile will have to coexist with a certain level of intellect, and we recognized this as an opportunity to acquire, and then apply, those skills in an environment that interests him deeply.
I'm continually amazed at the little things that people pick up on and remember. From the guy who thought enough to drop off some PB & J cookies at the check in counter before the flight, to the guy who recognized the anxiety developing, and knew driving by the convention center the night before the opening would ease the tension that was building. By sending him so far away, and to a place we had never been before, I knew the feeling of the unknown would hinder his potential. I had hoped that he would recognize someone he knew, and make that association as a comforting thing. I never expected he would be the one recognized, or remembered. Better still, was the manner in which some of those familiar faces interacted with him - treating him as if they had always been intertwined. I'm not sure why. It could be the smile. More likely it is the recognition of having been there before themselves, and knowing just what a person needs to feel at ease.
Many years ago I had a person ask to ride with me in my truck. He had some questions he wanted to ask, and I was thrown off by this, because this person was far beyond my level of stature in our industry and in life. My nervousness was compounded with confusion as we interacted, but as the conversation went along, I found myself feeling more and more comfortable. Still confused, yet comfortable. He must have recognized this, because when I dropped him off, he thanked me for allowing him to make his inquiry, and left me with a statement that was probably meant more to be just good advice. He said "you see Ted, we're just normal folk" referring to his family and business. Twelve years later I heard nearly the same phrase, and I knew immediately that the people whom we had entrusted to guide our son were genuine.
I chose not to share that story with TJ as I sent him off. I thought it might confuse him, and just add another complication into the process. His current innocence is also a great attribute in situations like this, and the last thing he needed was more things to think about. We wanted him to act natural, and he would need to develop his own level of comfort to do that. His phone conversations home gave an indication that he was feeling more confident as the show progressed. There was no real excitement in his voice when he called, just the usual "good", "having fun". Yet I also heard the tone in his voice. It rang of confidence - exactly why we had sent him back there. I could picture his smile in my mind.
Though I wasn't there to see it, I could also picture the usual suspect crowd pleaser being shoved in the back by the over zealous dad wanting to make their connections with the important people. The remarkable part for me was hearing that over zealous dads are a problem all the way up the ladder, and thoughts of guidelines being instituted to corral the problem is being thought of as a reality. Bravo I say. I'd rather drive the truck anyway. I don't want him to need me. That would seem selfish on my part, and I wouldn't feel I had done my job as a parent if my palm prints were in his back.
I'm not sure when, if ever, TJ will recognize the impact he might have made upon those people he interacted with in Florida. I know he didn't come home star struck, and he should have been. They were all "just normal folk" to him, speaking the same language that he understood. I'm fairly certain if we allowed him to, he would simply say, "I just wanna race" - his way of stating he would rather do his talking behind a face shield loaded with tearoffs. I am pleased that we had accomplished our plan for Orlando, to teach TJ that sometimes it's OK to say out loud what's on his mind. But it's the unplanned things that in my mind made this excursion a success. For instance, when I picked him up at the airport. I opened the trunk of the car, and before I could grab his bags, he put his arms around me and gave me a hug.
It told me that even though he didn't need me in Orlando, he knew I still needed him. We never planned it that way - it just happened.
:greenflag: :checkered:
Green to Checkers,
Ted Hartman
